American Horror Story: Asylum Goes Below The Belt

horrorstoryRecently, American Horror Story: Asylum has given me the same queasy feeling that I had watching the Republicans during the 2012 campaign.  Both times, I was horrified by this unhealthy fascination with rape.

I cannot even begin to remember who has been raped, who has raped, who nearly got raped, or who tried unsuccessfully to rape on Asylum.  We’ve had everything from a lesbian being raped by a serial killer to a Santa serial killer being gang raped by a group of carolers Fortunately, we only had to HEAR about the gang raping carolers.  I suppose that alien anal probes are rape, and we’ve had that, too.

Here is a totally fictional American Horror Story: Asylum story meeting that I made up totally in my head…

Writer: The Nazi doctor orders her into his operating theatre and…

Producer: Rapes her.

Writer: Um…rapes her? Well, that’s one idea, certainly, but I thought maybe…

Producer: (Licks lips, whispers) He rapes her.

Writer: Well, she got raped last week, so I thought that maybe this week the doctor could strap her to his table and…

Other Producer: Rape her.

Writer: Look, the whole rape thing is certainly interesting, but we are doing an awful lot of it on the show. I thought that this week, the new monsignor could come in right as the doctor takes out a vial of acid and…

First Producer: The monsignor rapes the Nazi doctor!

Other Producer: YES!  He could rape the Nazi doctor with his crucifix!

Writer: NO! That isn’t what I was thinking AT ALL!

Director: Then what were you thinking?

Writer: I was thinking that the doctor is startled and throws the acid on the monsignor…

Producer: And then the monsignor rapes him.

Other Producer: With his crucifix.

Writer: I’m not writing another rape scene.

Producer: Then you aren’t working for us.

Director: Wait a sec, guys.  She maybe has a point.  Maybe there are things in horror other than rape.

Other Producer: Attempted rape?

Producer: No, no.  We did that last week.

Writer: Look, when everybody gets raped, these rapes stop having any impact.

Other Producer: Everybody likes the rapes.  The actors will be pissed if we stop the rapes.

Director: Jessica is having two written into her contract.

Writer: Okay, okay, the monsignor rapes the Nazi doctor with his crucifix.







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2 Responses to American Horror Story: Asylum Goes Below The Belt

  1. Kari says:

    Ha! You are so funny…lol

  2. Jaye says:

    I second that. Oh god…

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